Motherhood is a lifetime commitment. A 24-hr job around the clock. You can never quit nor can you run or hide away from it. Life with 3 young crazy teenagers is havoc (in a good way) enough and now soon to arrive baby K, I felt a bit overwhelmed and sensed a little panic attack at times. Can I make it through? Can I start all over again after 12 long years? Restless nights, not enough sleep, dirty diapers, dirty laundry, sink full of dirty dishes, balancing work and baby K at the same time and the list goes on and on.
The motherhood world can sometimes make you go bonkers and totally loose yourself with everything that is happening around you. This is the post of a mother to be. Yes, the craziness of motherhood but one which feeds your soul ultimately and as always, as you are entering motherhood there will always be the first time to everything. The first time your baby smile, the first time your baby take his first step, the first time you introduce solid food to him and the first cute bunny teeth (:
But one thing which I dread the most and cringe my teeth is the thought of sending your baby the first time to the nursery as you have to get back to work after two months (only two months??) of maternity leave. As much as I want to take care of my own baby, to be around him at every hour, I have to get back to reality. There are bills to pay, debts to settle and kids to feed, so there’s not much that I can do of except to do what every or rather most of us do, that is to continue working.
Time is certainly hard and not everyone are born with a silver spoon feeding their mouth. Just look at the price of baby’s formula today and you’ll know what I mean!! Anyway, I am not complaining as I know complaints won’t get me anywhere. You just need to move on, take it one day at a time and take it slowly. I know I have been through all this nursery/kindergarten thingy but that was like centuries ago, now my first baby is going to be twenty years old next year, can you believe how time flies?? I can still picture her cute sad face every time we wake her up early in the morning and get her ready to be sent to the nursery. Every time I drop her off, she will be clutching me as if she never wants to let go. That made it even hard back then. I guess all parents especially mothers who are in similar situation feels that same way…and lately with all the tragic incident happening at the nursery, it is really is making my heart heavy.
I have no plans of selecting which nursery to send baby K to, and as much as possible, I don’t want to think about it as yet.
I am already in my 33rd week and counting each and every minute until he arrives. O and you might have guessed by now that we’ll be having a boy!!!!!! So grateful and blessed.