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Artifact motherhood is a collaboration of artists/mothers from around the world. Sharing stories of the joys and struggles of our journey. Our hopes and dreams for our children. With little nuggets of wisdom here and there. These are more than photographs with dates written on the back. These are the artifact we are leaving behind for children and the generations to come.

Around this time last year, while I was getting ready to go to sleep after having a family gathering at my mother’s house, then my heart suddenly goes on beating so fast that I thought I was going to die that night. It was definitely a terrifying experience that I wished never to encounter again. My husband immediately took me to the nearby clinic and had me checked on. After a few minutes of waiting, the doctor told me that I was ok and all my vital signs were normal. I wasn’t satisfied and did a full medical check-up including doing an ECG to find out if there was a problem with my heart. Again the specialist told me the same thing. There was nothing wrong with me. He asked me if I wanted to see a psychiatrist and I told him yes, I would consider that. A few weeks after that, I had my first appointment with my psychiatrist. I was feeling really tense and not sure what to say to him. I told him what had happened and he asked me several questions. While we were talking I felt the urge to cry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me but the tears just keep on flowing. I felt a bit ashamed during that moment but the psychiatrist was really understanding and helpful and it made me feel at ease. I knew after consulting the psychiatrist that what I had that night was a panic attack. After a few more counselling, I was able to understand my feelings and what my body is trying to tell me. I never knew that our body can carry so much stress and burden from trauma and pain. We, especially mothers, are so capable beyond words of doing everything but yet we can be too hard on ourself sometimes.

Since then, I have been learning and researching every day on ways to cope with my anxiety and worries. One thing that I find really helped me a lot is to practice gratitude and to notice everything that surrounds me. To be grateful for some of the basic things like having my eyesight to see. Isn’t it a precious gift to wake up to your beautiful smiley face, my son. Isn’t it a precious gift to hear you giggling softly in the morning light because the sun is up and you know that it’s time to play. Isn’t it a precious gift to have my lovely husband prepare us breakfast even if it’s just toasts and jam. Isn’t it a precious gift to be able to breathe the fresh air and notice the air coming in and out of your nose. Also, I stopped drinking coffee and change a bit of my lifestyle which means to consume more water, more vitamins, more outing in nature and more sleep! My new living mantra after that frightful episode of my life is to practice positivity every day and have the courage to face my fears.

Please go to Carla Monge, the next artist in our Artifact Motherhood blog circle and continue through all the artists until you get back to me. To learn more about Artifact Motherhood, please click here.

Comments

oh Min, that must have been so scary for you, I am so happy you were brave enough to seek help and that you have found ways that help you. You are an incredible woman and mother and your photos radiate a beautiful calm that touches me deeply. I can feel how you appreciate the little things which is such a gift. Xx

Dear Min, you have a beautiful gift to be able to transmit your images and words from the heart, it is palpable. What a scary event, I am so glad you made it to the other side, and without a doubt, daily gratitude and wonder for the simple things is a beautiful practice for us all. Thanks for the reminder xx

Oh Min, that time must have been so scary for you. Thankfully you had the insight to look further in and realise that this was a build up of stress and anxiety. So happy you’ve found the gift of gratitude. You write beautifully and your images are stunning.

Oh Min, I got chills as I read your post.. then I came to your images and I could feel every bit of your gratitude pouring out of them…from the light to the grains of sand, the sky and all of the little details with your beautiful family right in the middle of them… it took my breath away. Gratitude, your post, words, and images are everything Min. xxx

Upi have such a talent of turning everyday life into something magical. Your work is pure art and this is a perfect example.

Mohd Khairul Faisal Hamzah

http://minmohd.com/all-is-well-terengganu-malaysia/

Allahu
Alhamdulilah semuanya semakin ok kan kak.

By the way, i am electrified and your moments r getting sharp and sentimental. It close to my heart, with your majestic features and lighting bring up the inner feeling with peace.

Mohd Khairul Faisal Hamzah

Allahu
Alhamdulilah semuanya semakin ok kan kak.

By the way, i am electrified and your moments r getting sharp and sentimental. It close to my heart, with your majestic features and lighting bring up the inner feeling with peace.

This is a brave and very beautiful post kak min. The photos summed it all. May Allah always protect you, keep you safe and healthy, guide you and be with you wherever you are whatever you do. Ingat.. Allah kan ada. ?

I’m so proud of your bravery. And so happy to see and read this post and know how proactive you’re being with looking after yourself lovely, xx

“Isn’t it precious”to read such brave and tender words ? Your post is precious Min, with the genorosity of your shared experience, the kindness you show to yourself and the inspiration that this gives. ?

Your words have me in tears. I’ve also had to learn how to cope with panic attacks and anxiety through mindfulness and meditation. I’m glad you have found practicing gratitude to work for you. I loved the photos as well 🙂

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