Life in Black and White

My little boy, always on the move, always on the lookout for tiny adventures. He doesn’t need to go far. He has everything he needs in the bedroom. It’s just like a big playground to him. What lurks behind the curtain? He can stare at them with his wide eyes, full of amusement. What’s there beneath the pillow? Everything screams joy and excitement to him. Oh how wonderful life is at his age. My lovely little boy, you fill my heart with so much love. You kept me on my feet most of the hour but I can never really get bored with you. I look forward to more tiny adventures with you my precious boy.

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…till we meet again

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No words can describe the sadness. I felt numb, sad and angry at the same time. Angry because they were innocent people. Sad that their lives was cut short. Numb, I don’t understand the purpose of killing another human being. Why? Why do you have to rob one’s happiness? How could they? This is mad. My tears flow as they were transported to the van, patiently waiting for them. Personally, I don’t know any of them. But I can feel it. I feel the lost. Watching the mother helplessly crying to her departed son, a small boy crying asking to see his mother for the last time. These are all torturing. Ya Allah, we beg for your mercy. Ya Allah, we beg for your forgiveness.  Ya Allah, please ease their burden.

Al-Fatihah…till we meet again my brothers and sisters.

selamat hari raya

 

 

 

 

raya2014

 

 

 

 

This is what dreams are made of…

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You and that little bundle of joy! I can’t thank you enough for everything that you have given me. Your patience, your silly jokes, your guidance and endless love for my three girls, texting Along when you know she is all stress up about her coming exam, asking Angah about her day and whats up with her jerawat (hahahahaha) and always buying Adik her favourite roti, I could go on forever but the one I truly treasure is your never ending support towards me.

There’s a little bit of you and me in that little boy you’re holding. We have come a long way and when you come to think about it I say, we’re OK!!!!

Happy Father’s Day Love!

Minggu 19/52 – Harapan Mama

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Minggu 19/52

..agar Khaled sentiasa ingat, selepas hujan ribut, langit selalunya akan menjadi terang dan pelangi yang indah akan muncul. Dalam melangkah, kita pasti akan terjatuh dan terluka, Khaled perlu bangun, kuatkan semangat, teruskan perjalanan walaupun terpaksa bertatih, ingat, setiap luka itu sebenarnya adalah ubat nak, yang akan membersihkan hati khaled dan membuatkan khaled senantiasa beringat dan rendah diri. Hidup kita tak lama, semuannya pinjaman dari Allah, kekayaan, ilmu, semua itu pinjaman. Semua itu Allah yang punya. Jangan pernah kecewa dalam mengharapkan pertolongan dari Allah SWT.

..agar Khaled menghormati wanita sepertimana Khaled menghormati mama, ingat wanita itu insan yang sangat lembut hatinya, sekeras-keras kerak nasi, kalau rendam di dalam air lama-lama akan jadi lembut, begitulah jua hati wanita. Apabila Khaled sudah ada buah hati, jaga hatinya dengan baik, biarlah kita mengalah nak, tak mengapa. Khaled kan khalifah, khaled perlu sabar banyak. Tapi nak, kalau hati khaled dilukai kerana cinta, cepat-cepat hubungi mama!

…agar Khaled mewarisi sikap babah yang sangat penyabar dan sangat penyayang. Walaupun dibebani beribu masalah namun tidak pernah sekali pun mama mendengar dirinya mengeluh hampa dan putus harapan, jadilah seperti babah mu nak, seorang yang tidak banyak cakap namun mindanya sangat tajam dan setiap perkataan yang keluar dari mulutnya adalah umpama emas!

..agar Khaled sentiasa ingat untuk ketawa, bergelak gembira riangkan hati, hidup ini terlalu singkat untuk bermuram. Masalah tidak akan surut sayang, walaupun difikirkan sehari semalam, makin berkerut dahi jadinya, nanti tampak tua sebelum waktunya!

…agar Khaled jangan terlalu cepat menghakimi seseorang. Biarpun rambut sama hitam, tapi hati lain-lain. Ingat sayang, itu bukan tugas kita. Ada mata kita pandang, ada telinga kita dengar, ada mulut kita diam.

….agar Khaled pergi mengembara serata dunia. Bertemu kawan baru, perspektif yang berbeza, langit yang berbeza. Pergilah sayang, tapi ingat pastikan setiap kali pergi merantau, mama harus diberitahu. Paling tidak hantarlah sms.

…agar Khaled tidak pernah lupa Allah SWT walau dimana Khaled berada. Bersuka ria itu tidak salah nak, tapi harus ingat, nanti satu hari Khaled akan mengadap DIA. Jadi pastikan Khaled penuhkan buku Khaled dengan yang baik-baik sahaja. Andainya Khaled tersalah langkah, tidak mengapa, itu pengajaran. Tapi jangan dibuat kali kedua. Sujudlah padanya nak. Mintalah keampunan darinya kerana dia Al-Ghafur.

…Please please please belajarlah memasak satu atau dua resipi pun cukup agar mama tidak risau Khaled kelaparan bila berjauhan dari mama. Masak sendiri itu lagi sedap sebenarnya walaupun lauknya hanyalah ikan sardin dan nasi panas. Belajar survival nak. Belajar masak nasi. Belajar goreng ikan. Dan nanti bila Khaled sudah beristeri, cubalah masak untuk dia. Pasti bahagia.

….agar Khaled tidak taksub berhutang untuk memiliki kereta ataupun rumah. Itu semua boleh tunggu. Yang penting, pergi mengembara dulu! Pergi isikan dadamu dengan ilmu yang tidak boleh diperolehi semasa di sekolah ataupun mana-mana universiti.

…agar Khaled lakukan apa yang Khaled paling suka untuk hidup. Kalau Khaled suka melukis, jadilah pelukis, kalau Khaled suka memasak, jadilah Chef yang handal, pokoknya Khaled boleh jadi apa sahaja yang Khaled mahu tapi pastikan Khaled jadi yang terhebat! Mama sentiasa doakan yang baik-baik sahaja untuk Khaled dan juga kakak-kakakmu.

…Harapan mama agar Khaled ingat, kalau mama sudah tiada di dunia lagi, jangan lupa mama, jangan pernah lekang berdoa untuk mama ya sayang. Dari Abu Hurairah r.a. bahawa Nabi Muhammad s.a.w bersabda: “Apabila seorang anak Adam mati putuslah amalnya kecuali tiga perkara : sedekah jariah,atau ilmu yang memberi manfaat kepada orang lain atau anak yang soleh yang berdoa untuknya.”
(Hadith Sahih – Riwayat Muslim dan lain-lainnya)

Week 18/52

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All mine!

find joy in the ordinary

From Kuala Lumpur to Gua Musang and to Kota Bharu. I took the opportunity to explore a place where I have never set my foot on. Gua Musang sounds very low key to some. Yes indeed. Not knowing what to expect, I don’t want to put myself in dire of getting the right images. But I hoped that the little pieces will come into place. I spent nearly 3 days in Gua Musang and was lucky enough to see a dikir barat performed by the locals. Being tied up with work in the morning, I have less time to explore Gua Musang town. I am sure there are a lot of interesting places for great photo opportunities. Here are some of the ordinary.

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I was told that this pakcik is an Imam of the nearby surau. Pak Imam has been selling roti canai for more than 30 years. I believed so, because the roti was great! The best in Gua Musang!!

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From Gua Musang, I went further up to Kota Bharu. It has been almost 20 years since the last time I came here. I started the day early, just few minutes before 7. Just a few steps outside of the hotel, I was greeted with this WV Beetle nicely parked along the road. What a great way to start the day!

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“Berapa umur pakcik? Pakcik lupo doh”

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To some these photos may not mean anything. It’s a normal day to day happening around them. I am pretty sure that some may say that they can capture the same thing as well. If you do, please start doing so and you will appreciate it one day. Get back to reality. This is life. This is what we are. I spent almost 8 hours walking around Kota Bharu. The images, I hope some of you will understand. It’s not about getting every photo to be technically correct. Put that aside for a while. Dig into the ordinary and see life.

“To see the world, things dangerous to come to, to see behind walls, draw closer, to find each other, and to feel. That is the purpose of life”. – Walter Mitty

17/52

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Oh darling, you bring so much joy to my life, I can’t help it, I am so in love with this little man!!

16/52

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Muhammad Khaled Low, berat dah hampir 9 kilo, alhamdulillah, kali terakhir mama bawa khaled ke klinik untuk ‘injection”, Khaled langsung tak menangis, anak mama dah besar, sudah boleh tahan sakit agaknya. Khaled sudah punya ‘temper’ nenek bilang mama, kalau lambat susu, khaled bising, khaled menangis, kemudian nenek kena pujuk, baru khaled senyum. Susu Mama khaled tak pernah buang, selalu minum sampai habis licin. Kadang-kadang setiap jam khaled hendak susu. Alhamdulillah rezeki khaled dapat minum susu mama dah masuk lima bulan. Mama harap dapat susukan khaled sampai khaled umur dua tahun lebih.

Waktu pagi, rancangan kegemaran khaled ialah Tanyala Ustaz, kadang khaled sampai ketawa berdekah-dekah sambil pandang kaca tv, mungkin khaled ingat itu Datuk, dengan janggut putih, dengan serban putih sedang mengagah-agah khaled. Dulu khaled selalu juga temankan nenek tengok cerita Mexico, tapi sekarang nenek kata tidak boleh lagi, nanti nenek cakap melayu tapi khaled cakap mexico, pitam nenek!

 

13, 14, 15/52

Earlier this year, me and two of my photographer friends decided to do the 52 Project. We would capture the photo of our children once a week, every week in 2014. We want to be able to capture the photo of our children as they are. We want to push ourselves to create art that mattered (for us especially). Through our children, we learn to understand ourselves. Every picture carries a different story. Each and every one with their own unique ways. It doesn’t have to be perfect. I remember what Soraya Yusuf Talismail said during one of her talks that we attended in 2012, the photos are not perfect, but those imperfection is what makes it perfect.

Through this project, I have been able to slow down and just play with my camera. Any mundane moment can turned into something beautiful. Often, I learn to experiment with lighting and different composition. I admit that sometimes you don’t always get what you want at the first attempt. But no worries, all you need to do is make yourself a cup of coffee and take it from the start. No pressure when you are doing your own personal project. No clients expectation at all. You are free to do whatever it is that you have been wanting to do. The most important part is that you are stimulating your creativity. You become better not only technically but also artistically.

Apart from that, what I really loved about doing this project is that I get to be friends with some amazing photographers who despite her 101 unfinished list-to-do and commitment to the client, her family comes first. We get to share our joy and happiness when discussing about the projects, giggled about the funny things our children do that makes us so grateful and the most important part of all, is that we are documenting our children, our life, our family. Nothing can replace that.

amazingyou

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14/52

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15/52